Sorry, but this is NOT the secret page.

If you're looking for it, I'm sorry. You can blame some retard who commented on a blog post, telling everyone where the secret page was.
So I moved it to a new spot.
AND YOU'LL NEVER FIND IT JDKFOPJAZKLMPEAIJFODSGJNSKDJFPVMBFUIGSOHZFJMPCBNFISFJD
And the link to it isn't on this page. I'm smarter than that.